So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
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