dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
he was CRYING into my vagina
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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