saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize