If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize