I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
