oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
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