We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
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