I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Randomize