I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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