I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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