The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Just invented taco cereal.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
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