yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Randomize
