she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
