Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
