Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
