you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
