My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
