just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
