Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
