dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Randomize
