so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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