the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
