I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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