I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
