haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
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