so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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