Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize