He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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