I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
