I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
