i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
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Semen is not good for contacts.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Sext me about skeletons
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
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