How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
