so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
