K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
