She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
my poor anus
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
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