didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
