They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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