It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Less talking, more tequila
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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