real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Randomize
