ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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