They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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