Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Randomize
