I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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