Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
