Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
