would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
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