I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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