At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
