I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
