there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
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