I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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