ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Plan B is the new Plan A
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
