But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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