I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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